I’ve been thinking a lot about growth recently. Particularly the growth we resist. In my opinion, the best growth comes in the challenging times. This is the mantra I repeat to myself during those times (while clinging on like a gecko in a storm), ‘everything happens for a reason’ , ‘this growth is necessary’ . Yes, at times I have wanted it to stop. But instead I make space to feel what needs to be felt, reflect, let go and move on (maybe throw myself a pity party).
This time of year is very much about hard work (you can read more in my posts on the turning of the wheel) and I have been focusing on the physical: gathering, preparing and storing away all of the abundant foods and medicines around me. I’ve also made time to give thanks and reflect on what I’m grateful for, all I have achieved towards the goals I set in the spring.
So here I was merrily doing and feeling awesome about my progress and focus then… Slap! A great big dose of challenge was heaped upon my spinning plate. At first I started my process of reflection, and letting go etc and then another helping and another was trusted upon us at the buffet of shit to deal with.
It was then I realised through conversations with friends and loved ones that we were all dealing with so much at the moment. As much as I give out the same advice about Self-care and labyrinths, I still fall far short when dealing in my own life. I look to my divination and journals and I recieve the guidance I’m looking for. I implement actions I feel are the right ones to implement and steady my course.
This time of year, in this cycle of life, death and rebirth that we thrive in, we must also learn to let go. Now is the dying time. In order to grow we must shed off what no longer serves us: ideas, toxicity, old habits, projections, hurts, wounds. To not do so means that we carry it with us again unto the next cycle. I wasn’t doing this willingly and so I was pushed.
So what is it? What must I leave behind?For me, this time, it’s my flimsy boundaries. Now, I have boundaries like a motherfucker. However, it’s one thing I am always working on. We all have them, the ongoing lessons we felt we had overcome but still come around again. And here comes another thing I know but need reminding-
The path of life is a spiral. It is not linear. The journey spirals out getting wider. On this journey are our personal challenges. I feel they are the same, like me and boundaries; we revisit the same lessons, getting better each time. The space between them grows as we grow. I have no doubt I will still be having the same conversations with myself as an old woman “fuck sake, I thought I’d learnt that”. But that is the beauty of it, we are trying and growing constantly, sharing experiences and empathy. If you’re not growing, are you really living?
To sum up, as we reach Autumn and face the coming winter, focus not only on what you need to prepare but what you need to let go of? Do what you need to in order to be reborn as the wheel turns. Surrender and lean into it because if you resist, the universe, God’s, ancestors, will push it upon you anyway. Follow the path even when it’s horrible and I’ll see you on the other side. We’ll get a drink and tell each other all about it.
Rant over. Peace out witches!