Well, here we are darlings, the final full moon of the calendar year. Seems only fitting that it be in Cancer, especially seeing as the first full moon of the year was in Cancer.
Cancer energy is all about emotions. I’m a cusp baby, straddling Cancer and Leo. I’ve always felt more of a Cancerian what with the empathy and hypersensitivity (sarcastic yay). If you’ve read any of my rantings you’ll have a vague idea of how hard it can be to feel everything all of the time (also the conflict with my fiery lioness side, what a delightful mix, more sarcastic yay). If this emotional state is new to you it can be quite unnerving but I’m here to tell you two things:
1. vulnerability is strength! Our emotions are messages from our soul that something needs addressing. Learning how to honour those emotions and act from a place below the triggers takes a fuck tonne of shadow work, honesty and courage. In an age where people have been lead to believe that crying is weakness, feelings are weakness, ‘man up’, ‘fake it to make it’ blah bullshit blah. The strength it takes to be honest about what we are feeling and what we are afraid of is astounding. It is easier to paint on a happy face, displace or pretend not to feel anything. That is why so many of us struggle, suffer in silence, project, void fill and lash out. We hide our true selves because we were taught (sometimes through traumatic past experience rather than the usual toxic role models and society) that to be vulnerable is to be weak. It leaves us vulnerable to pain yes, but also allows a level of connection and honesty we would otherwise not have, to be really seen. Being honest about how we truly feel allows us to meet those unspoken needs and allows others to better help and understand. It allows us to live as our most authentic selves; fears, flaws and all.
2. If you’re feeling unusually emotional, overwhelmed and frankly; a hot mess. This is how many people feel all of the time. If you know someone who is Cancerian or highly sensitive in other ways please; let this experience provide you with a little empathy in future. So often I have been shamed for my sensitivity and then lunations like this happen and I’m like, “see, its fucking horrible to verbalise let alone experience!” for some of us it is constant. That being said, these people will know how to support you should you need it and being the way we are, likely be willing to help.
This year has been indescribably difficult ( polite way of saying a shark infested, shit show, on fire), bringing up a plethora of unimaginable scenarios that we have just had to deal with. I feel like we’ve had 10 years of lessons in 1 (WHAT ARE WE BEING PREPARED FOR?!!!). It does not surprise me that we are being given an opportunity to bring forth some difficult emotions, process them and let them go. At this time I would be reflecting anyway. On all that has happened in the last year, all that I am grateful for, the lessons I have learned through the challenges. 2020 brings us a dumpster fire of bullshit to process.
Cancer tells us it’s ok to do so; to cry, to scream, to mourn. She also encourages us to look at what those feelings are trying to tell you. In some instances this will be obvious, some will take a bit more thinking but all are valid. And darlings, none of that ‘some people have it worse than I’ shit of course they do, that does invalidate what you have been through this year.
Having identified what the emotion is, followed by what is causing it; the next step is to decide what you want to do about it. Do you need to make change for the future? What can you put in place to support yourself? As the calendar year draws to a close, we naturally begin to plan for the year ahead. This year I feel like a lot of people (myself included) have been forced to really identify what their values are. A new year gives a chance to use that new perspective for some this may not feel too drastic but for others it’s literally a whole new world. Maybe your not ready to look ahead yet. That is fine too, make a blanket fort, ugly cry, let it out.
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Full moons are portals to release what no longer serves you and make space for what will serve you better. It is also a time to be grateful. Gratitude feels more important than ever with this one. It is one thing to see where all the hurts were, it as another to be grateful for what they taught you.
As I mentioned above, I am naturally very reflective at this time of year. However I used to be much harder on myself, this year has taught me so much more about self care. Something I am passionate about anyway but I feel like I gained a deeper knowledge of what is necessary for me to thrive (something I don’t feel I got enough of). I’m not gonna lie darlings, I really had to fight for it. Not against many others but against my inherent people pleasing nature, low self esteem and mental health issues.
Full Moon’s also prompt forgiveness (something I’ll be writing more about in coming weeks). For the same reasons as releasing what is not meant for you, holding on to old hurts is like poison. It takes up emotional space that could be better spent elsewhere and holds us back. It takes practice to forgive and forgiving ourselves takes even more but it is sooooo worth it. The main thing I want to stress here is that you can forgive someone without ever telling them. It doesn’t mean you have to engage with them. Only that you have understood where the hurt happened, you take responsibility for your part in it and you want to leave it behind. I often do this by writing a letter I will never send and then burning it or releasing it into moving water (being sure not to harm wildlife of course). You can write it to your past self if that is who needs to be forgiven.
This Full Moon asks us to really look at our emotions and honour them, Honour ourselves and be honest about what we want, need, fear and value. Whatever 2021 will bring this year has been an eye, heart and mind opener. Resolve yourself with whatever that has been for you before rushing ahead with new plans and resolutions. What do you need to let go of? What needs to be forgiven? What are you grateful for?
As always I recommend using divination to help you identify what that may be (look on my insta for tarot spreads). You can find a basic Full Moon releasing ritual to support you here. but most importantly of all; be gentle with yourself darlings, like you would a loved one, because you love yourself.
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Peace out witches!
Love Kate xxx
The Life,Musings and Experiences of a Modern Witch 